more then..

More then ..

dedicated to Liz M. by her best friend. For those who don't get us and to let her know again how much I appreciate her and reminders of our friendship.


Our time spent is not just a waste
Our friendship is so much more
Not just talking online at night about nothing
Though we would talk so late we'd fall asleep on the floor

More then our love of taking pictures
More then our love of dogs and cat
More then all our similarities we have
More then our (almost) matching kenny chesney hats

It's not just being being bored
so that we're (almost) always online
it's not even that on the hearts day
no guy has asked us to "Be Mine"

More then all our crazy conversations and laughs
More then all our silly and serious late nights
More then all the poking shoving and handshakes
More then us never really having fights (ever :-P)

Now you're probably wondering being so far..
how do you stay that close to each other?
Why with other friends would you fly out to see her?
It's complicated and not easy to be sure!

More then both being homeschooled for a long time
More then the hard thingn of having a parent with fibro
More then loving country music and singing taylor swift
More then us at times it being hard for us to go with the flow

We are just about 2 peas in a pod
A lot of the time we are one and the same
Even sadly with loneliness , family ,and friend issues
but we're moving on and others we don't want to blame

More then our liking big sunglasses
More then almost always wearing flip flops
More then us having the same awesome sweatshirt
More then us having accidents and each having to deal with cops!

It's not just one thing that makes us so close
Like being willing to stay up late and talk.. again
it's that and EVERYTHING and what's next that make us -
while she's not perfect she tries- and in my book a ten!

The thing is that our friendship
is bigger then just us talking her and me
God is helping us use each other to
become all that He wants to be

I thank God for you my friend You've helped save
My life and for that I'll always hold you dear
Yes it's true though serious issues she's helped me
Without God using her , I probably wouldn't still be here

graduation poem

Normally It's poems I've written but this isn't the case I have to show you where I think I got my abilities.. he read it to me and kay at graduation and made me cry.

I try to come to terms
As time passes by
You've grown from child to woman
in the twinkling of my eye

Honor me as time goes past
When your talents you will try
As the road gets rough before you
Just say daddy yes i'll try

For trying gets you something
Even when you fail
the knowledge that you gain
May help you win as well.

When you fall down just get right up
dust off yet again
keep striving for the goal you want
have Jesus as a friend

Dear Jesus sure can help you out
So for his mercies cry
Honor him when I am glone
Say Jesus, Yes I'll try.

I know, awww right? :-D I love my daddy!!

You put your right foot in
You put your right foot out
I think the hokey pokey
is really what it's all about..

This poem came to me randomly. I love my lightbulb moments. It actually came from a flair that asked ' what if the hokey is really what it's all about ' so i thought to apply it to the christian life. you need to try and move in the right direction try and grow in love and in christ and then serve God by serving others remember really you need to depend on God and you can't do it all and that God's love is really amazing no matter which you do . Feet arm head and whole self...

You're finally moving your feet
Slowly but surely in the right direction
Remember the fact that you're moving
It doesn't have to be at a run

Keep walking on the good path
even if you feel like you don't belong
Serve and love God and keep him first
He'll catch you if you fall and keep you strong

You think you've got your life down
That you won't fall back in and stuff just clicks
You mess up again your head hurts and..
Your candle is burned to the end its wick

You realize God loved you first
God loved all of you for yourself
No matter what junk you've been in
or if that old sin isn't back yet in the shelf

so hard

Honestly Some things in life can be so hard
It's so easy to let something out of control
driving a car,keeping up with school and friendships
things pile up and get crazy even when it's not the goal

depression can get a hold of you
or the opposite losing your temper
and letting things get out of hand
but those things are never the cure

if you let go for a little bit it can be lost
even in some cases a moment
a lot can change in a heartbeat
and then in your life there's a big dent

but don't get discouraged or upset
even if things get out of hand take it from me
that no matter what has happened
it may be hard for you but with whatever
if you let God help for him it's easy


He's always willing and able
things won't be perfect it'll still be rough
but God will help you through it and with His help
things are easier when you know you have his love

why and what if?

Why and what if ?

Why do I have such trouble connecting with people?
Why am I always think people have false intentions
That they only don't have anything better to do, so that's why they're talking to me?
always feeling people are fake when we're joking around or talk about how they care?
why do I hear important people say they miss me but sometimes I don't miss them?
Why do I just push back the pain?What will I do when I can't push it away anymore like before?
Why is past pain so overwhelming at times and how does it go away?

Why do I know God will take care of stuff but still I worry all the time?
Why can I not talk about the past with one of the people that it matters most?
Why am I so self-conscious with some old friends but can chit chat with strangers and parents?
What if it doesn't work out? What if it does?
Why do I make her feel bad when I know she didn't mean to hurt me and she missed me ,
and she did it for a good reason?

Why is it i want so much for other people who aren't usually, to feel accepted but when I get around them unless they're my close friends i feel awkward?
How can I let help those people who needs God's love when they aren't on the best terms with him, or the ones i'm not sure where they stand ?
Why am I one of the most ungraceful people ever?
Why did I let my fear rule ? Why did I play it safe?
Why do constantly think of what others will think?

Why can't I drive like a normal person?
Why am I so fickle?
Why do I start to like , so quickly? then all i can do is try and beat down hope but it doesn't work and i eventually find out they don't like me and usually liked someone else?
What do I look like to others?
Does the shortness bother anybody?
Why do I let that get ahold of me?
Why until now did i ALWAYS had poems that had to rhyme?

Why am i sometimes scared to open up but other times I do it way too fast?
Why do I go to bed 2 am or later?
Why do I stay up that late and then not always but sometimes then just fall asleep and miss devos but i'm willing to be on here late ?
Why is some stuff so hard for me? why do I freak out and become useless just about in a panic wondering what do i do about little things?

Why do I ask questions i know the answer too and ask questions no one can answer anyways..?
Why do I write prayers for people and I get nothing in return?
Why do I get hurt so easily?
Why do I doubt God sometimes?
Why do I miss things that I didn't feel so close too?
Why do I feel as if there's something wrong with me?
Why am I writing this? I sound pathetic