When nobody else will listen

page  1 of a book called nobody else will listen a girls conversation with God . I feel like this a lot ( not that it's anyones fault ) - Marjorie Holmes 

Forgive me LORD but I'm coming to you because no one else will listen. Almost no one else will listen. Parents try to but they can't Most of the time they can't . So often they're not around when I need them. Pr they're too busy with their own affairs to listen. Or maybe they're scared to listen. 

My friends and I talk , we talk a lot, but they've got their own problems. None of them really listens. I prayed when I was just a little kid , God , prayers I've been taught. It was all very innocent and simple, like talking to Santa Claus .

 Well I'm not so innocent anymroe and it isn't simple any more.  It's real-very real , my need to talk to -someone . To seek help somewhere. And even if I never see you , never hear an answer , I know that you too are real.

 Now that I'm older I'm beginning to feel it , deep inside . Where it helps and where it hurts sometimes. You made the universe , you made the world. You made me. Me, with all these hopes and dreams and faults. You are listening. Day and night you are with me , listening.

 I can tell you how it is , in my own words now. You won't critisize, you won't be  shocked . You will listen. Thank you for listening to me God.  

 I read family is the place you acy your worst and are treated the best. 

 Thank God for families. 

Doubting Thomas

Just last night I was reading my Bible and suddenally bam! again I get hit by something to write. I think doubting thomas had faith .I  really do. Why doubting thomas?  He's called that from when he didn't believe Jesus was risen He wanted proof.

 I think Thomas was what our faith is all about .. and I'll prove my point.In what i'm about to tell you He just really misses what's it's all about  .. or so you think . Jesus is wanting to go to Judea . Pretty dangerous for him as he wasn't received well the last time he was there. . And what does Jesus say? He wants to go because his friend lazarus is asleep. 

His discliples don't get it . Then Jesus explains that Lazarus is dead and he didn't go before because he wants the disciples to have faith . I'm sure they were confused. Why go for a dead man? But Thomas misses the point more then that. He says " Let's go that we may  die with him!" I'm sure they were all wondering what he's going to do . 

What a mistake huh?  For those of us that know that for a  while Jesus remains very much alive and Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. You think ' If I had said that I would go hide in a corner for a while. ' I thought that too. Until last night. 

I don't know whether or not it really was true or not but the too be named doubting Thomas had faith. Look at what he says . I think we need to concentrate on what he says..  He KNOWS that Jesus is going on a dangerous situation . He may not know why Jesus was going to a dead man maybe he thought Jesus would heal maybe not .. if not also that might heighten the danger because when Jesus went a few people could be angry Jesus hadn't saved Lazarus beforehand. If he did believe Jesus would heal look at what happened when he did! What happens next is that the Jews are plotting against him and even Lazarus. 

He understood the danger yet he said to the others let's go and die with him! To not just make the decision for himself but to try and persuade others. I just thinks it's cool though stuff may sound weird or not be the best timing when we say something God looks at the heart .Though we all mess up even as Thomas did by not believing Jesus had risen like he said he would he still wanted to see Jesus. And right after he did see Jesus he believed . 

And isn't that why Jesus died to rise again in the first place to clean up after our messes? To be faithful to his promise even when we weren't faithful? 

The greatest day in history,

 Death is beaten

You have rescued me
Sing it out Jesus is alive
The empty cross, The empty grave
Life eternal You have won the day
Shout it out Jesus is alive
He's alive

Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same
Forever I am changed

Happy Easter! 

Gifts

I was just thinking today God's giving us so many gifts big and small.. 

a family that loves me so much.. :-D ( especially my crazy sister kay who prayed for me the other night and who always can make me smile by being silly ) 

awesome friends that listen to me when i need to talk about stuff... 

Just this morning i was annoyed because i had to help do stuff and i was like ugh when really i shouldn't have been that i had to help without eating breakfast not 5 seconds later my whiny little heart received pop tarts . God is good even when we're not.

It's been that way for a long time of course I wish tonight i was going to the good friday service but i got asked to work.. but i'm doing devotions here. 

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I listened to this song. it's amazing.

I really connect with this song. And as the shirt from the song amazing grace says . " I am the wretch that song talks about'  I don't deserve anything from God but he wanted to give me this big gift , and he has it for all of you. I hope you accept it. I hope you guys have a good friday and remember it ! 

I'm glad sunday we'll get to say he is risen and can hear back he is risen indeed! 

The secret to life

I may be young but somehow
I think the secret to life I've realized
and no, I won't look back and think I'm wrong
I won't look back and think I lied

It's not about money power or beauty
how much You know or having fun for a spell 
You will never really be satisfied with those things..
They all can hurt like a knife and are empty like a dry well 

You may be wondering What is it then?
To try and always be a good person?
No I've tried, it's too hard and it's not enough
The noblest thing for you has already been done !

The secret of life I think we all look for ,
You'll wonder when you hear it,really it sounds odd ,
But knowing You can't do anything by yourself 
You need to let go and let God

small blessings for Jesus..

So many unknown people blesed God's heart

10 lepers were healed only one gave thanks

 women and men who knew just a touch or word from Him  would heal

a widow who trusted God about  giving all of her small piggy bank

God has always been so good to me ,

On me he's let his blessings pour

I want to bless Jesus's heart like one lady especially

When I think about what she did I like her more and more! 

A very sad ,desperate  woman 

Who must have had a very pain-filled life

She braves the rejection she felt she deserved

and others because of her past,will  give her strife

But what she didn't know how she blessed God

Was what the savior  had planned and was doing 

That he loved her so much for what she would do

For her , she was preparing him for when he be dying!

She blessed Jesus's heart , even she,

With a beautiful love offering 

She put perfume on His feet

People around him who should've, did nothing 

Through a hard life she was a sinner

She was saved by her act of kindness

She wasn't looked down on by Jesus 

She found wasn't forgiven or loved less

Closeness...

I think we're all scared. We don't want to admit it but we are,especially me. We're really scared. 

Of what you might ask? We're scared of rejection. Don't just up and leave because I said that. I'm not going to give some crazy sermon about how you don't need to worry about that because if you just read this book or do this or that that you'll have perfect friends like that, The End. That's not it. Some people might not really care what people think,and at times I wish I could be more like that . But I'm who God made me. I think it's cool for people who can always put themselves out there, and make people laugh and break the ice. The ones who everyone seems to like them and it doesn't look like anyone would reject them.. But what about the rest of us? 

The ones who sharpie their shoes .. ( guilty) , who really do care what people think ,and are very easily embarrassed and deal with rejection like all of us?Or who like me get nervous something as simple as asking a friend to hang out because you worry if they'll say no (again) they're busy or that they'll say yes and it'll be awkward. I've had that a lot.There has to be something for the rest of us .. who well maybe don't feel very close to their friends, and want to open up and become closer.. But they're scared. Or maybe you need friends maybe you've been hurt before. Maybe you need new ones because you've grown apart..Honestly with someone I was very sad to have leave and change it affected me a lot but the thing was.. I wasn't as close to her anymore and when we were it was mostly the fact that we've both faced rejection. I feel awkward a LOT. 

They say write what you know right? Well as some of you know... this is something I know about. A lot. I still deal with this. I've gone from a few ' best friends ' and we've eventually just grown apart. So for the friend department I wasn't doing so hot. And now my best friend of about 3 years is great and I love her , even all the way to rainy Washington state on the complete opposite side of the country basically.I've had many a lonely weekend. And it hurts when plans don't work out.

I've felt before it  would just be easier to just kinda give up on people before but on the asking to hang out a lot. But I didn't . You know why? I think a lot of things in this life we get mixed up. I think you need to do things you may feel are wrong. Like be yourself.  Be a little random and don't be so self conscious or take yourself too seriously, everyone sounds dumb sometimes honestly. A quote I like    " Don't take life too seriously no one gets out alive anyways."  

Honestly I'm trying to remember times where people got tongue tied and I can't remember a lot .. though it is me .. :-P Just try talking to people . A little small talk is OK but see if you can expand on it more. Get to know people , all people.You don't have to be limited. Do nice things for them. Jesus wants us to be nice to everyone. It's hard I know. ( Within reason I mean I'm not saying to force an old lady across a street you don't know or to put yourself in a dangerous situation but to have less of a filter I guess you could say.) 

A big part of it is knowing that you ARE going to get rejected sometimes.Welcome to life. But that may not necessarily mean they don't like you if they can't hang out. Keep trying. Try other friends. Still unfortunately not everyone will like you. But you know what? It's not going to be very much fun hardly having anyone you can talk to is it? People you can relate too who can give you feedback or just be a soundboard. Think about it. I think it's worth the risk. You have to take it. Also at least you won't have to wonder what if you had said yes and could have had a great time and gotten closer. 

And this wouldn't be complete without of course you've been more then accepted by someone who can be the best friend you'll ever have, Jesus of course. He will always listen to you , always forgive you , will never leave you, he's just not ' being nice' by all those things , He loves you so much! I think it's helped me handle rejection.. oh it still hurts but you can get over it with a bit of time. 

Unfortunately I don't have maybe the answer some of you were looking for, to the  friend whose friends aren't good friends. I can't answer that what I have to say is pray , try and talk to them and try and talk them maybe it's a miscommunication I hope that's the case but other than that all I have to say is you are very special and you deserve to be treated better then that .

 I felt it was kinda strange that I'm mostly talking about rejection when I thought about writing about closeness, but you'll have some of the 1st I think with people before you get too the 2nd (and you've got God always no matter what don't forget that) Also to help find true people you can be close to you do I think have to be yourself and maybe break out of your shell a little. And I'm still in this so I don't know if all this is right and I'm not saying this is all perfect because chances are pretty good it's not.