How are you?

How are you?

How are you? Are you ok?

I ask checking if everything is alright

after you are quiet, a sad status or note,

a breakup, a death, or even a small fight

I want to help I really do..

But am I any help at all?

Smiles,hugs, jokes prayers..

my help seems small.

It's what I really want to do in life..

Help the people whose life is a mess

and to them find true healing

But I must confess...

It feels weird for me to need to talk

or the one who has the problem .

I can open up.. but sometimes it is hard..

Honestly it seems sometimes I try more then them

A lot of my friends need help

They have issues without a doubt

I love them really and not just"practice"

but ..for future it won't hurt that I try to help them out

Obviously I am not perfect..no one is

But I try to help the best I can now

To cheer them up and lead them to Him

who helps us do things when we don't know how

Sometimes I'm having trouble myself

Sometimes there is not enough time

Sometimes but no words come

I feel bad but it's what comes off life's shelf..

For those who don't or won't follow Him

or the unsure, really am a lot more blind

I know what they need but they don't..

That answer I still have yet to find

You don't know what will offend them

What they've heard a million times before

Or what they really need to hear

I really don't want them to walk out the door

Though I worry so much sometimes

For my friends and their future fate

I know I can't save people only God can

I care a lot..so on me it's still a weight

People sometimes wonder when I talk to them

In this crazy life that is sometimes at best a zoo

Why do I always ask the same question.

It comes almost always as if on cue..

I ask this question because I really care

And making sure no one is blue

And I want to know the truth

The question is how are you?

for those who dare to read this....

Thank you all who have helped for now I would appreciate if you keep this to yourselves .. I will be ok but i would appreciate prayer ..i hope i don't sound too pessimistic having bad few nights...hopefully you can read all of this but it's how i feel...

It seems a long time ago from The time when I was invisible To the guys at the very least A bit much but to me it felt real

Then you come along ..you soon took my notice I didn't think you would ever like me but before long you were my first kiss

I wasn't sure about you I didn't want to move too fast you wanted more I decided why not? As my 1st boyfriend you were cast

I was happy but then...you seemed to want me to change.Little weird comments and questions Maybe it's just me and for you it's not strange..

I really liked you, wanted to get closer but i was shy a lot..this was all new Sometimes I didn't know what to say.. never thought so soon my mood would turn blue.

I thought something might not be quite right but at the time i thought things were fine then the rug was pulled out from under my feet email says it's over, I can't help but feel the fault is mine

I couldn't believe it ... I sat in my dad's lap and cried my emotions are up and down and a lot of the time I want to hide

You said I seem more like a friend..and you don't want a relationship now You started this and how long was i a "friend'? It seemed fine and now this..I wonder how?

How can I argue with something like you see me as a friend? No talking about it not another chance..You just pulled the plug and the end.

I called before I knew..I thought you would care..You didn't pick up the phone..All because you were.. Scared of 'losing a close friend' and lack of words.. I was upset already then you left me alone..

How could you expect me to go to be friends from what we were How did you do it.I read..how the next day you kissed her..

I was angry and jealous all at once Did you do it to rub it in my face? Short timing..Did I mean so little to you? I really wanted to put you in your place I'm too nice of course..a bit of time has passed I still cry at our pictures How did it end all so fast?

Little things bother me..Despite all you say or do please don't expect too much Because..I really liked you

I told you you hurt me..For you it was "sad to hear"..No classes together for us! I just don't want you to be too near...

Some little things I miss..but if on you it began to dawn that you wanted to try again Your chance ..I'm pretty sure is gone

I will be alright I will be fine This is just me after I fell..I want to as know as much as I can.. I wish you well..

I don't like to feel this way you tried a bit to be a nice guy..I don't know how much I can handle.. But I want to do what I can to try...

2009

2009... In 2009 I learned and/or was reminded of ..

Jesus is all I need. At the end of the day I try and remember I can get through stuff it may be hard but i will get through it and if it kills me then i'll be with Jesus and it won't matter. :-)

Jesus loves me in spite of myself

We all wanna be loved.

There is more to people then what meets the eye.

Empathy can really help you move on sometimes.. Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

God can help you move mountains..

I want to be a Christian Counselor.

Sleep is necessary

Trying new foods you might find some food that is good..

My family is amazing..

how awesome my church is..

that if you have something hard to tell someone sometimes it's good to just do it sometimes instead of just do it instead of worrying about it...

You are only responsible for yourself .

I can't do it all by myself

I need to take things one day at a time

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts
-S

Why? Why a stage? Why not tell the truth? Why act and pretend? If one isn't happy with the status quo what makes a person think lying and putting on a mask would make it better? Nothing lasts forever. peopple need to remember that. We only have so much time on this earth. Why fill it with lies and things you don't really mean? I think a lot of it is people are scared . Maybe if they realized they had someone who accepted them as they are always they wouldn't be so afraid ... and if they knew they can do much more then they think they can with help..to get through hard stuff... they wouldn't have to pretend anymore.

more then..

More then ..

dedicated to Liz M. by her best friend. For those who don't get us and to let her know again how much I appreciate her and reminders of our friendship.


Our time spent is not just a waste
Our friendship is so much more
Not just talking online at night about nothing
Though we would talk so late we'd fall asleep on the floor

More then our love of taking pictures
More then our love of dogs and cat
More then all our similarities we have
More then our (almost) matching kenny chesney hats

It's not just being being bored
so that we're (almost) always online
it's not even that on the hearts day
no guy has asked us to "Be Mine"

More then all our crazy conversations and laughs
More then all our silly and serious late nights
More then all the poking shoving and handshakes
More then us never really having fights (ever :-P)

Now you're probably wondering being so far..
how do you stay that close to each other?
Why with other friends would you fly out to see her?
It's complicated and not easy to be sure!

More then both being homeschooled for a long time
More then the hard thingn of having a parent with fibro
More then loving country music and singing taylor swift
More then us at times it being hard for us to go with the flow

We are just about 2 peas in a pod
A lot of the time we are one and the same
Even sadly with loneliness , family ,and friend issues
but we're moving on and others we don't want to blame

More then our liking big sunglasses
More then almost always wearing flip flops
More then us having the same awesome sweatshirt
More then us having accidents and each having to deal with cops!

It's not just one thing that makes us so close
Like being willing to stay up late and talk.. again
it's that and EVERYTHING and what's next that make us -
while she's not perfect she tries- and in my book a ten!

The thing is that our friendship
is bigger then just us talking her and me
God is helping us use each other to
become all that He wants to be

I thank God for you my friend You've helped save
My life and for that I'll always hold you dear
Yes it's true though serious issues she's helped me
Without God using her , I probably wouldn't still be here

graduation poem

Normally It's poems I've written but this isn't the case I have to show you where I think I got my abilities.. he read it to me and kay at graduation and made me cry.

I try to come to terms
As time passes by
You've grown from child to woman
in the twinkling of my eye

Honor me as time goes past
When your talents you will try
As the road gets rough before you
Just say daddy yes i'll try

For trying gets you something
Even when you fail
the knowledge that you gain
May help you win as well.

When you fall down just get right up
dust off yet again
keep striving for the goal you want
have Jesus as a friend

Dear Jesus sure can help you out
So for his mercies cry
Honor him when I am glone
Say Jesus, Yes I'll try.

I know, awww right? :-D I love my daddy!!

You put your right foot in
You put your right foot out
I think the hokey pokey
is really what it's all about..

This poem came to me randomly. I love my lightbulb moments. It actually came from a flair that asked ' what if the hokey is really what it's all about ' so i thought to apply it to the christian life. you need to try and move in the right direction try and grow in love and in christ and then serve God by serving others remember really you need to depend on God and you can't do it all and that God's love is really amazing no matter which you do . Feet arm head and whole self...

You're finally moving your feet
Slowly but surely in the right direction
Remember the fact that you're moving
It doesn't have to be at a run

Keep walking on the good path
even if you feel like you don't belong
Serve and love God and keep him first
He'll catch you if you fall and keep you strong

You think you've got your life down
That you won't fall back in and stuff just clicks
You mess up again your head hurts and..
Your candle is burned to the end its wick

You realize God loved you first
God loved all of you for yourself
No matter what junk you've been in
or if that old sin isn't back yet in the shelf