famous song lyrics from the cinderella movie. I think about God with this . He loved us first he made us even though He knew we would go astray break his head over and over blame him for things that happen in lives that aren't his fault not only did he know it beforehand and go through it, while it was happening and after we hurt him again and again he didn't ever change his mind. It would have been easy to say as in my big fat greek wedding , "Ha. Yeah, right, you're so not worth this." Who would blame him? but God didn't change his mind he still created us , let us live, and died for us. Of course from the song lyrics from cinderella it isn't US that are wonderful. We loved him because He first loved us" God helps us become more like him to not think so much about ourselves . i think it would please him if we more often let him know we love him because he's wonderful and sure glad he thinks somehow we're wonderful because he loves us.

Waiting on my one in a million : it's so easy to get caught up in the moment the nervousness and the thrill , smiles , and the compliments too go too fast and too soon.. to joke instead of being serious to ignore important flaws you might see with the persons character . it only breaks your heart. i am waiting for my one in a million . going to do my best to wait on God for my man. God will take care of me . though it's always a struggle i know whatever God's plan , His plan is good. whether i am single or married with 10 kids i don't want to go down any other road. i know whatever it is Jesus can take my load.

simple things.. i think we take them for granted. some things are just so ..amazing. maybe even not amazing yet just simply cool or interesting. One thing i hope .. is to be more simple. I was at a bible study and I just like it when stuff is simplified and how it really happened. I hate it when everyone is so formal everything has to be a certain way. Just tell it like it is. It is a lot easier. You don't need to use 3 dollar words for us to understand you . Something I need to work on i know i don't mean to but things get complicated i'm basically twister when talking sometimes and i'll be rambling stories and different things . Just thought i'd put it out there.

A bunch of bits of pieces of easter songs

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

An old rugged cross was the justice
I deserved yet I was spared the penalty of sin..
When mercy stepped in

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of Glory died;
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

The greatest day in history,
Death is beaten
You have rescued me
Sing it out Jesus is alive
The empty cross, the empty grave
Life eternal you have won the day
Shout it out Jesus is alive He’s alive

Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same
Forever I am changed

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Why should I gain from his reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom…

confusing post..

Christian Character award
I remember being about 12 or so and going to a sort of Bible study I used to go to with my church. We would do studies on things try and memorize scripture and hang out with each other. It was called All Star's . Now that d really it was just judging who had the best behavior. Who was the nicest and didn't cause trouble. But really we need to remember that is not what being a Christian is about. It is more then being nice and polite and not doing certain bad things.

Being a Christian is realizing you've messed up , and trying to go in the right direction and follow Christ. Even though you know you'll mess up along the way. Trying to serve Him and figure out what he has in store for you in this life. How "Good " of a Christian you are really cannot fully be judged from the outside. You never know what is going on in a persons heart. You don't know what they've been through . So Try and find good Christian friends , mentors ,teachers, pastors, future spouses -whatever . But I don't think there you need to be handing out Christian Character awards. Every person that you think is a 10 Christian you might say has struggles too and people who you might say are 3 doesn't mean they have their good moments. I remember in the Bible after Jesus comes back Peter is asking about John and what will happen to him . Jesus replies " If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? " John 21:22

I'm not saying it's good to just ignore someone who needs your help but I think we need to spend less time judging others and work more on ourselves. Your friends and different people will struggle in their life .It is a fact. They will have loss , hurt, anger and many other things happen. No one is perfect. That doesn't mean that someone is a horrible Christian and you need to go tell people to shun them.That is what hurts and turns people off. It doesn't help a bit. What can help is love and people caring. A big thing to remember is that a person's walk with Christ , you can't see. This doesn't mean you should put yourself in dangerous situations having no common sense , if possible to help them if they are wiling to receive help if they are struggling with something. You cant change anyone. Remember that. That is God's job. You can try and help people but you can't change them . They choose. If they make the wrong decision it's not your fault. And remember judging people at the end of the day is Jesus's job. Not yours.

Handcuffs and Twisted Necklaces

When you start to get close to people then they start attaching themselves to yourself and your heart . Or in how i want to put it through like a handcuff around your wrist. it doesn't start like that it starts out as string.. easy to detach yourself from.the more time money energy and everything spent on the person , the harder and tighter it gets on you. it becomes harder when you've known the person a long time are really close and spend a lot of time together if it has to break , it is harder to detach yourself from . A thing is to make sure of the person you're letting yourself get attached too .. and want to make sure that they are attached to you as well before the attachment goes too far. And for the main attachment marriage is the hardest because you are closer then . it is real, tight handcuffs practically to the other person for life. and to have to break that apart would be really hard probably on both people. so I definitely want to make sure of the person I am getting married too.

Another random analogy i've had in my head is what I want to do.most people know i want to be a christian counselor but i really want to help some people understand what I want to do. I've just had crud in my life and i know it's hard to get past. Things get complicated. I picture some peoples lives as necklaces that have gotten twisted.. i can't save them but i hope to help them get untangled. They need to do work too if a necklace won't move or is stubborn that doesn't help. Just a picture in my mind i've had in my mind .. Praying it will work out.

How are you?

How are you?

How are you? Are you ok?

I ask checking if everything is alright

after you are quiet, a sad status or note,

a breakup, a death, or even a small fight

I want to help I really do..

But am I any help at all?

Smiles,hugs, jokes prayers..

my help seems small.

It's what I really want to do in life..

Help the people whose life is a mess

and to them find true healing

But I must confess...

It feels weird for me to need to talk

or the one who has the problem .

I can open up.. but sometimes it is hard..

Honestly it seems sometimes I try more then them

A lot of my friends need help

They have issues without a doubt

I love them really and not just"practice"

but ..for future it won't hurt that I try to help them out

Obviously I am not perfect..no one is

But I try to help the best I can now

To cheer them up and lead them to Him

who helps us do things when we don't know how

Sometimes I'm having trouble myself

Sometimes there is not enough time

Sometimes but no words come

I feel bad but it's what comes off life's shelf..

For those who don't or won't follow Him

or the unsure, really am a lot more blind

I know what they need but they don't..

That answer I still have yet to find

You don't know what will offend them

What they've heard a million times before

Or what they really need to hear

I really don't want them to walk out the door

Though I worry so much sometimes

For my friends and their future fate

I know I can't save people only God can

I care a lot..so on me it's still a weight

People sometimes wonder when I talk to them

In this crazy life that is sometimes at best a zoo

Why do I always ask the same question.

It comes almost always as if on cue..

I ask this question because I really care

And making sure no one is blue

And I want to know the truth

The question is how are you?

for those who dare to read this....

Thank you all who have helped for now I would appreciate if you keep this to yourselves .. I will be ok but i would appreciate prayer ..i hope i don't sound too pessimistic having bad few nights...hopefully you can read all of this but it's how i feel...

It seems a long time ago from The time when I was invisible To the guys at the very least A bit much but to me it felt real

Then you come along ..you soon took my notice I didn't think you would ever like me but before long you were my first kiss

I wasn't sure about you I didn't want to move too fast you wanted more I decided why not? As my 1st boyfriend you were cast

I was happy but then...you seemed to want me to change.Little weird comments and questions Maybe it's just me and for you it's not strange..

I really liked you, wanted to get closer but i was shy a lot..this was all new Sometimes I didn't know what to say.. never thought so soon my mood would turn blue.

I thought something might not be quite right but at the time i thought things were fine then the rug was pulled out from under my feet email says it's over, I can't help but feel the fault is mine

I couldn't believe it ... I sat in my dad's lap and cried my emotions are up and down and a lot of the time I want to hide

You said I seem more like a friend..and you don't want a relationship now You started this and how long was i a "friend'? It seemed fine and now this..I wonder how?

How can I argue with something like you see me as a friend? No talking about it not another chance..You just pulled the plug and the end.

I called before I knew..I thought you would care..You didn't pick up the phone..All because you were.. Scared of 'losing a close friend' and lack of words.. I was upset already then you left me alone..

How could you expect me to go to be friends from what we were How did you do it.I read..how the next day you kissed her..

I was angry and jealous all at once Did you do it to rub it in my face? Short timing..Did I mean so little to you? I really wanted to put you in your place I'm too nice of course..a bit of time has passed I still cry at our pictures How did it end all so fast?

Little things bother me..Despite all you say or do please don't expect too much Because..I really liked you

I told you you hurt me..For you it was "sad to hear"..No classes together for us! I just don't want you to be too near...

Some little things I miss..but if on you it began to dawn that you wanted to try again Your chance ..I'm pretty sure is gone

I will be alright I will be fine This is just me after I fell..I want to as know as much as I can.. I wish you well..

I don't like to feel this way you tried a bit to be a nice guy..I don't know how much I can handle.. But I want to do what I can to try...

2009

2009... In 2009 I learned and/or was reminded of ..

Jesus is all I need. At the end of the day I try and remember I can get through stuff it may be hard but i will get through it and if it kills me then i'll be with Jesus and it won't matter. :-)

Jesus loves me in spite of myself

We all wanna be loved.

There is more to people then what meets the eye.

Empathy can really help you move on sometimes.. Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

God can help you move mountains..

I want to be a Christian Counselor.

Sleep is necessary

Trying new foods you might find some food that is good..

My family is amazing..

how awesome my church is..

that if you have something hard to tell someone sometimes it's good to just do it sometimes instead of just do it instead of worrying about it...

You are only responsible for yourself .

I can't do it all by myself

I need to take things one day at a time