Hopless

So sad.

All this weight on your shoulders. Having to stay so strong. After life has done it's best with you. Life can be pretty bad. For you I think it is worse. I see a lot of myself in you . Wanting to be independent but finding growing up difficult. You've been through pain. I think you've seen a lot of loneliness.Job loss. Which doesn't help . Stubbornness. Willing to work for what you want, and hard for it. Wanting to be loved. Pain. Stress worry. Anger. A lot of anger. I think the biggest thing is you want to know someone cares. You said it yourself. I've had the similar thoughts. You just want to go back to being a child ..but you can't.

To know someone cares about you. Something you can't quite express...you feel like you are going crazy and not sure you can handle it. You wonder if you started crying would anybody notice? Would anyone care? Everyone is mostly in their own little world just about.. and you're all alone. But where one things end.. I know I am not alone. I told you that.. but was afraid. Said what I could say.I Don't want to make you upset. But I did say with life .. either you'll get through it or you won't . If I get through it... Good! some stuff will be harder but God's gonna help you .. if not then i'll be dead and in heaven.

I hope I didn't offend you. Tried to be there for you listen and did talk about how I don't like it when people are judgmental. You seem so hopeless and sad. you say the only thing makes you happy is work. Such a sweet kind spirit.Wish could have said more.. That you don't need a guy , a job , money , or anything in this world to make you happy. Only God. I am going to do my best to keep in contact with you. The scary thing is , how a lot we ARE alike... how I forget. And I want to keep it in mind more and act like a Christ-follower and reflect those to the hurting.

I don't know exactly where you stand... maybe I am misinterpreting ...maybe you forgot a little bit yourself who you have with you. I hope you're stronger then i thought..but the things you said... I will be praying for you and I don't care if we're both busy I hope to do my best to be a good friend and will reach out more. We both need it. I think you're scared. You put up walls I think with how you've kept me at a distance .. (or is it me) either case want us to get closer. I had a good day.. seemed to end well.. hope it was good for you too. I really have no idea how to help you with talking about God though. Any help guys?