You're all I want you're all I need..

 My head hurts from math today. I've been procrastinating math at times so I'm kinda hoping to be able to finish my mathbook  but i don't know i'm not halfway done and it's already about the end of january...  so i've been trying to do better the day before yesterday i got 2 lessons done and kinda like i have to get this and and this done .. i tried to do that today i could maybe have not been working so late but got distracted .i got so frustrated i started crying not a lot but ugh . i was stuck on this one problem basically and dad came in and said i should stop. Now i'm trying to not have a headache by listening to music I wish there was something else i could do all i can do is try it a few times and then give up.. You're probably wondering what this has to do with God ? Well I will tie it in later ..

 anyways i wanted to mention the other day randomly i was thinking and i think i finally realized Jesus is all I need. It's been pretty cool i do need to remember now that i can't just be by myself.

when I thought of that almost made it sound like I could just be by myself and not have my responsibilities though I wish  I didn't sometimes ,I have them.  I just really need my me time and i was thinking about it and I came up with this there are 2 gifts God gave us .. one is alone time (which you need this can just be time to recharge think or prayer or worship ) I am always  trying to have my me time whether it's a long shower  while singing , secretly not minding some chores too much if i can sing while doing them or.. you get the picture. 

Some people really need to be able to slow down. What's harder for me is 'speed up' . I make efforts but it seems people are so busy it seems to not be worth it or it seems just really awkward a lot ... but i know i need to keep trying. I'll need people to talk to and people will need me to talk to as well.  I need the funny things to think about people to maybe distract me and and though i worry i know that Jesus will always have friends for me and if i'm waiting for one i've always got one.  Hopefully  knowing Jesus is all I need might lessen how much i care what other people think. 

With Jesus being all i need with those things i remembered the everything skit  and I watched it . it's  amazing.  It made me think i have the things pulling at me my desire to try and ' do it all' with schol and everything when really i can't , the threat to worry about friends or future school or even work stuff will i ever drive...  i can really mess up a lot . I also listened to the song as far as the east is from the west. The other day i read where that is in the Bible in Pslams 103. What i hadn't noticed before is the verse. 

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him.

 That's pretty far isn't it?He can deal with whatever I can throw at him. He can help me with things I wouldn't expect like with the friend thing , helping me with math and calming all m my fears. I wonder why they didn't put that also in the song.. and that's pretty cool to think about . 

 

Enough

One thing I finally did was make the above picture on paint I made it to remind me things I tend to forget about God, and I made it my background on my computer . So I can see it often. Check it out , you can use bits of it if you want and if you're curious as to some of the meanings on them be free to ask. 

Anways onto the blog.I think I'm onto something I kind of realized but it's hitting home more now. We all know that God knows everything right? Of course we do if you've ever been to Sunday school as a kid you know that. I was listening to a sermon again thanks to podcast on itunes and it got me thinking. For one thing God knows though I'm failing at following him..  I don't love him enough , I don't put him 1st, I worry , I have fears , I have pride vanity I waste my time with things I know I shouldn't ... but he knows that I'm trying.One of the biggest things I wish I could do that I can't  is to fully be able to love God with all my heart soul mind or strength.  I feel since God did all that he did for me I should be able to live loving him all the time while I'm here.. But I can't .But God knows I want too. I  doubt God, I don't feel I trust him enough really , I worry about the future, how people see me and things of that sort .

 How sad is it that I can't really trust and I worry even though I know  the one who won't lie to me , or want me to be hurt is in control and one that always is looking out for my good  also .But with God knowing I want to trust and love him , and doing my best  to do things that please him, I will mess up but trying anyways .. I think that's enough for God. Something else I realized is that people say love and forgiveness are actions and you choose to do them and that is true. But also Trust is in that same category. I wish I didn't rely so much on feelings they can be so misleading.

 Trust is an action, though I have doubts about all 3 of those that means I have a certain amount of fatih in them. Also think about this. When you love someone , you don't really care about obstacles do you? Things may come up in your mind as to why you shouldn't , why it won't work out , maybe what they've done to you before, whatever... 

Yet you don't care. You love them anyways I think how you love God is the same way . I  know you'll hurt God when I mess up, I know I don't deserve him. I know I can't give him the love he deserves .. yet I don't ' feel ' it all the time  (you know what they say actions speak louder then words  and i think somtimes even feelings. though I stray and get distracted I ussually am always trying to please God which I hope shows a bit at least of my true colors ..) I think deep down past my doubts and distractions I let come in , I love him too. I

 love how God loves me , how I know he's always listening to me , How nothing is too small for him and he cares about the little things like my little fears , and the big things how he dealt with all the pain somehow from the world and he he died for us on the cross . And that we just have to believe in him . And that's enough. 

Thank you LORD my back and forth love faith and trust in you is enough .help remind me of how much you love me and that you are more then enough for me . 

Have You been Sleeping In?

I thought it was high time for me to make my grand appearance on this blog. I would like to thank Barb for making me part of this opporation, even though I don't do very well with keeping up with blogs.



I wasn't really sure what to write about for this first post of mine. However, I know a lot about music, and songs. I love Christian music, and often find good quotes from songs. Thus, deciding to use this knowledge and passion to form this post.



A increasingly popular song has caught my attention in the past month, and helped me through a hard time. The song is called "Sleeping In." Listen to it here.

The lyrics are actually very powerful, if you really think about it. The basic concept of the song is that this person doesn't want to face the problems of the world, so a simple solution is to sleep, because otherwise they think about all these problems. But this person realizes that he's not the only one, and God let's him know that.

I feel like sometimes I get so caught up in the bad stuff around me, or things in my life that are going wrong. Lately that topic has been how the heck I am planning to pay for college. I've been really stressed by thinking about it, and thinking about everything I need to do before I leave for college in August. Even though it's a worry of mine, I just let it build up until it became unbearable. Did you know that stress can cause sickness? I knew that, but didn't think that was the reason why I didn't feel like myself. Since the beginning of 2009 I hadn't felt well. I had a cold, that was on its way out. But my stomach still didn't feel right, and I stopped eating, and wasn't drinking as much water as recommended.

After a few days I felt weak. Eventually it got to a point where I just wanted to feel better. Thankfully since that time, just a few days ago, I do feel better. Although, now that the second semester is starting tomorrow, I am feeling some more stress. I'll have three new classes, and so it's almost like the first day of school. Also, I'm honestly a little worried at what's to come with our country. Not in a good or bad sense, just a unknown thing. I've found that one of my biggest fears is the fear of the unknown. If I don't know what's going to happen, and how it's going to happen, I get unbelievably scared.

God still loves me in spite of my weird fears. Sometimes it takes awhile to let go and trust, but when I do, everything gets brighter and lighter. As it says in the Bible, "Perfect Love casts out fear," and it's true!

Like it says in the song: "And I get carried away like I'm the only one/ Who's ever felt the way that I do/ But I can hear you say, 'you're not the only one./ 'Cause everybody hopes to get through,'" It can get to a point where it feels like we are all by ourselves on this journey. But God is here to remind us that we don't need to go through this by ourselves. There are also other people out there wanting to help, and share the burden. I've been thinking about this part of the song a lot lately.

I encourage you to bring your stresses to God. He'll know what to do with them, and He'll show you want to do with them. Because God is Love, and God won't leave us, this means Love won't leave us either. transitive property.

Behind my closed eyes

I just thought of something random I could blog about. 

 I don't know if anyone has noticed this i think once someone asked me but when i'm worshipping ussually whenever I know the words to the song or most of them my eyes are shut.  Almost always .Why you may ask? Because I don't think worship is a time for friends or to be staring around the room at people. I want to try my best to focus on God it's hard enough when i have my eyes open and i'm seeing my friends. I want to try and think about the words. I always try and give that time to God if nothing else. 

Like I said it sometimes doesn't work i ussually end up thinking about something else anyways but i'm trying to eliminate distractions. Also if I go the side or move around when i am looking at the words because i don't know the song , i am most likely just trying to see the words past someone tall i'm not trying to be distracting or trying to get away from you. Also I may move anyways when i try and worship it's not that either, I am again trying to not feel distracted. I may still want to clap but am trying to not worry about what you're going to think if i'm by off the beat some or possibly i may be trying to do some of my own ( or maybe not ) of my motions . to  a few songs i have made up some hand motions to the words they may not make sense to you but i feel like doing them sometimes and trying to not care what you possibly think and just to do it anyways. I feel worship is very important . Sometimes i may be ironing , outside or just in my room and i'll listen to worship music and sing with it .  I feel with that there is no need to worry as much what other people think because if they could seriously hear me kay would tell me . It takes away from the distrations more and it doesn't matter what i do or how i sound. just less distractions again and i'm turning a chore or something into something better by christian music i love and giving him some time of my life by singing for him even if it is while i'm ironing .  a bit of a hard thing for me to grasp is the worship all the time. But i'm just always trying to do my best with jobs. I am always a hard worker. I don't like to leave a job half done.  But other then that it's still hard for me to get it . So i'm not perfect at worship but i'm trying. I don't know exactly all about it and don't understand everything , but I'm trying and you know what i was thinking? God knows me he knows i'm trying. So even if i'm not listening to worship music all the time or every single second thinking about God. God knows what i'm capable off and i don't know if i'm loving him with all my heart strength soul and mind but i'm trying and he knows i'm trying and that's all the more reason why we need his grace in the 1st place right? :-D 

I hear voices in my head.

Seriously . I do .

But not in the way you think I mean it .  I don't mean it in that the voice in my head says for me to kill myself or to ruin the life of someone for no reason. No  A great song that partly made me think of this blog is the voice of truth by casting crowns.

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes 
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name 
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times 
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus: 
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Well to continue with that I want to continue I think this will really help people hopefully I think a lot of people feel like this though all the time with things like this you think and worry if it's just you or not.

What I mean by that is I have all kinds of different thoughts in my head. I have the very hopeful ones , and the doubtful one  let's use an example ...  I applied for a job at the library . I had an interview and that went pretty well but they had an organizational test . They had a few small ones you would put things in alphabetical order, sounds easy right? Well The names were all alike  like only a few letters would make it different making it really hard. Obviously my doubtful voice would be I didn't do that well my handwriting was awful on it , the first 2 I took a while and on the 3rd I might have gone too fast and got it wrong. My hopeful voice says The 3rd one I made pretty sure I did it well it was easier I probably did well on that one and I apologized about the handwriting they seemed to understand it was the pencil they had that needed to be sharpened it's better then using a pen and having to cross things out . So that's how different the views can be. It's really hard when viewing people and situations because you never know for sure if they meant what they said. It happens with everything I do. It's really frusterating but I think now I know one thing to pray for is to weed out the thoughts that are wrong and to bring help me discern God's voice. 

1st blog

I tried to find You but I didn't know Your name
I searched for love, but I found only pain
I chased the truth, but I only caught the lies
When I searched for beauty
Dirt got in my eyes

And then Your love showed up
And it erased my pain
Lord, You gave it all just to clear my name

Why You love me I cannot understand
How You love me, can't even comprehend
That You want me as broken as I am
I can never repay
The way You love me

The closer that I get to You the smaller this world seems
Deep inside my heart You placed eternity
You gave me room to breathe, a place to get away
Standing in Your presence with a debt I can't repay

There's no high, there's no low
There's no power or control
Nothing's gonna keep me from You

I love the way, the way You love me

 thank you for reading my blog. I became inspired to start this blog after I wrote a prayer down as that heplps me I wrote down about God's love. How crazy it is. You can read it  here

I hope to write lots on here and I hope you are encouraged from it. God bless