Enough

One thing I finally did was make the above picture on paint I made it to remind me things I tend to forget about God, and I made it my background on my computer . So I can see it often. Check it out , you can use bits of it if you want and if you're curious as to some of the meanings on them be free to ask. 

Anways onto the blog.I think I'm onto something I kind of realized but it's hitting home more now. We all know that God knows everything right? Of course we do if you've ever been to Sunday school as a kid you know that. I was listening to a sermon again thanks to podcast on itunes and it got me thinking. For one thing God knows though I'm failing at following him..  I don't love him enough , I don't put him 1st, I worry , I have fears , I have pride vanity I waste my time with things I know I shouldn't ... but he knows that I'm trying.One of the biggest things I wish I could do that I can't  is to fully be able to love God with all my heart soul mind or strength.  I feel since God did all that he did for me I should be able to live loving him all the time while I'm here.. But I can't .But God knows I want too. I  doubt God, I don't feel I trust him enough really , I worry about the future, how people see me and things of that sort .

 How sad is it that I can't really trust and I worry even though I know  the one who won't lie to me , or want me to be hurt is in control and one that always is looking out for my good  also .But with God knowing I want to trust and love him , and doing my best  to do things that please him, I will mess up but trying anyways .. I think that's enough for God. Something else I realized is that people say love and forgiveness are actions and you choose to do them and that is true. But also Trust is in that same category. I wish I didn't rely so much on feelings they can be so misleading.

 Trust is an action, though I have doubts about all 3 of those that means I have a certain amount of fatih in them. Also think about this. When you love someone , you don't really care about obstacles do you? Things may come up in your mind as to why you shouldn't , why it won't work out , maybe what they've done to you before, whatever... 

Yet you don't care. You love them anyways I think how you love God is the same way . I  know you'll hurt God when I mess up, I know I don't deserve him. I know I can't give him the love he deserves .. yet I don't ' feel ' it all the time  (you know what they say actions speak louder then words  and i think somtimes even feelings. though I stray and get distracted I ussually am always trying to please God which I hope shows a bit at least of my true colors ..) I think deep down past my doubts and distractions I let come in , I love him too. I

 love how God loves me , how I know he's always listening to me , How nothing is too small for him and he cares about the little things like my little fears , and the big things how he dealt with all the pain somehow from the world and he he died for us on the cross . And that we just have to believe in him . And that's enough. 

Thank you LORD my back and forth love faith and trust in you is enough .help remind me of how much you love me and that you are more then enough for me .